He bore my burden

Nearly twenty five years ago, I sat in the day room of the hospital. In front of me was a table covered with unassembled puzzle pieces. It was so like my life that was in a thousand pieces. Through watery eyes, I stared at the table trying to make sense of what was going on in my life. The unassembled puzzle was such a perfect symbolization of my life. I was overwhelmed by the task before me and couldn’t see a way to put my life back together again.

Through tear filled eyes, I sat and watched as the shadows lengthened. Night would come. I had it all planned out, but the moment had not yet come.

I looked up, and John stood beside my table. I didn’t expect anyone to come, but he was there. He sat across the table from me and I hung my head in shame. What could I say to make the situation better? He placed his hand on mine and invited me to share my burden with him. Between sobs, I explained what was happening, and what I felt.

Just as I licked the salty tears from my lips, I looked up. Tears were streaming down his face just as they were on mine. John listened as I poured out my soul, and he truly helped me bear my burden.

When I had shared all that I had in my heavy heart, John helped me see that the only through this difficult period in my life was through it. Ending my life would not solve my problems, but I didn’t know what would.

It was a long dark night, but morning came. John returned a number of times to visit and encourage me. His unconditional support did not fail. He came and shared my burdens with me, and with time I was stronger.

I moved to another city, and have lost contact with John. I will be grateful with him for the rest of my life for his help in my darkest hours.

Glances into the past

It's fun to look at old pictures of family members. In them, we can see glimpses of history that we can apply to our own lives and our own situation. It's fun to think of how we might have been had we lived in a different time and place. I look at this picture, and I think of Bonnie and Clyde I know it had nothing to do with notorious outlaws, but it's amusing to imagine.

The picture is of my grandfather, Ted Bingham, when he was just a young man with his sister, May, and his aunt.

Even the styles of children's have changed over time. I know some of the stories of the children in the picture, but I like to entertain myself with stories that may have taken place in years past.

These rigid poses of pictures seem so formal and stiff. It's obvious that grandpa Ted, the man to the right, is uncomfortable with a hat and a tie. What was he like? Would we have been friends?

Sometimes attics hold trunks of old clothes and paraphanalia from the past that lend themselves to fantasy and feed our imaginations. Do you think that Andrea makes a good little spinster or that Robert would make a good gunslinger?

One of our trips to South Dakota gave us such an opportunity for imagination, remeniscing and amusement. The photographer's shop was full of costumes and props from the past, and some that weren't even old, but were fun to put on as we posed for some family pictures. Popo insisted that we find something authentically Mexican. With a serape and a sombrero he strolled down his memory lane, and Aubrey found some white gloves and a parasol to assist her in her fantasy.

This family portrait was especially fun because the backs of the dresses and suits were open. They looked good in the photo, but we felt some exposed. It was good that we had one another to cover our backsides.

The Bonnichsen's and the Vances have some "fantasy" fotos to remember their pasts. We didn't really travel back in time, but we had a really enjoyable afternoon exercising our imaginations.

Are you going to finish strong?

This video was amazing to me.

I cannot imagine having this man's courage and persistence!!

This time I wasn't late

I had such a busy day, I was frazzled in every way.
It started early as I went to work for just half a day.
I spent the afternoon in a meeting with the VA
So that some of my medical bills they would pay.

Searching for an empty parking spot,
I spent an hour going in circles for naught.
In desperation, I left the lot for a commercial space.
It was a dangerous mission; an outright race!

I ran to the clinic so I wouldn't be late.
Being rescheduled would be a horrible fate!
With a sweaty brow, I quickly found a seat
Just at they called my name. The clock I beat!

I returned from the clinic with so much to do,
I hardly had time to gobble down stew
Before I headed out for another church meeting
Feeling that I been subjected to quite a long beating.

The church house was dark, but the moment was fleeting
As I prepared the chairs for our monthly ward meeting.
The chairs were all down, placed nice in a row
I sat to relax for a brief moment, you know.

Five minutes first past, and then it was ten.
I looked at the clock and checked my calendar again.
I would have been on time time; I wouldn't have been late,
But next week is the meeting! isn't that great?

Teachers

Dad asked in a comment that I talk about my teachers. I guess I'd have to start from the beginning.

Miss Blissenbach was my Kindergarten teacher. She eventually basically became my nanny when times were tough. She was a good friend to me and I didn't realize it until I was an adult!! She was a character and had a way of making you think differently about things. She was kind in her nature, and she really was a good teacher. I'm glad that she was the first one I had!

Mrs. Romero, who is no longer Mrs. Romero, was my First Grade teacher. Her class was taught in bilingual Spanish. She taught me , and the rest of the class, how to Mexican Folk Dance! That was fun and I always looked forward to seeing her. She was just a little taller than her first grade class. I was also her student aide after school, basically she babysat me while I was waiting for Dad to finish up with his work after school. She would ask me about boys and try to see which ones I liked try to steer me away from the ones that she didn't think were good for me, like Brian Steinfield. HA! I later would babysit for her children when I was in the middle school. She didn’t think he was a bad boy, but he did things that she didn’t approve of, like sniffing glue! I didn’t know what that meant until later in my life! I would do Mexican Folk Dancing my entire elementary school rein.

Miss Triffinger was my second grade teacher. I just remember her being really tall and skinny, with red hair and she reminded me of a giraffe. The only thing I really recall of that year in school was Mom being a parent aide and grading my math paper.

Mrs. Adams was my Third grade teacher. When I was in third grade I was out for a time due to family deaths and my own illnesses. I think I was gone for something like a solid three weeks. Thay very well may be exaggerated, you know how a child’s perception of time is a little distorted, but in any event, a cousin died, my grandpa died and I ended up sick. When I returned to school one of the boys announced loudly to the class that I was "finally" back and that they all missed me! That was nice!

Mrs. Adams was also my Fourth grade teacher. She was very cool. I loved how she would hold her mouth real tight when she would get frustrated with her class. She was a rock in my world for a time when it was a total mess! I recall her being pregnant with one of her children my Fourth grade year and Mom would call me over the summer when I was in Missouri with Grandma and Grandpa Hurtubise to tell me that she lost the baby SIDS. I didn’t know really what that meant until she explained it to me. That was very sad. She really worked hard with me to help me read and stay on top of my assignments, but she never belittled me in anyway.

Mrs. P, I cannot remember her name right now, was my fifth grade teacher. I don’t really remember much of her other than she was not always a happy person. We watched the space shuttle challenger blow up on TV in her class. We really didn’t know what just happened and she hurriedly turned the TV off. That was a somber day!

I cannot recall my Sixth grade team teachers. I had a female and a male. Mr. Van something, but the female didn’t care for me much. She constantly complained that I would look at the board too much. That’s when they went to the dry erase boards and I couldn’t see with the light glare on the board. My male teacher was much more fun and exciting!! He said that he worked with Dad before. The school time after the Fifth grade get a little fuzzy. I don’t know if it is because of all the emotional things we were going through?

Seventh and Eighth grade I had seven teachers both years and I don’t recall all of them. My Science teacher was Mr. F, I cannot recall his full name either, but I was a student aide for him my first hour of school. He was a very nice man, but I believe that he used to tip the sauce every now and again in the supply closet next to his desk. Mr. Bird was my social studies teacher. He had a blue nose and was constantly jiggling the change in his pocket. He mostly was just there to fill space and get a check. Mrs. McMullen was my pre-algebra teacher. She was a little black lady and she was an awesome math teacher! I loved her humor and the way she would teach us! She eventually became my Mom’s boss, and she’s not fond of her, but I am! :-D

Ninth grade I was in Missouri, and the teachers there are very different than the teachers in Colorado. My Physical Science teacher, Mr. Boller, was a grumpy man that didn’t seem to want to be there. He also drove a bus for the school, so I assume that he had some love for kids. I think that I may have seen him smile once. I didn’t do very well in his class, but that didn’t have to do with his teaching skills, but my inability to absorb the material he was teaching. I had to write down the entire chapter before I could understand. I probably should have had a tutor that year since my grades where horrible. I had a couple of study hall teachers that didn’t like me either because I was very social and didn’t seem to pay attention or just shut up. I think it was my way of acting out without getting into serious trouble, although it may as well have been a serious problem to those teachers. In some way all the teachers there left a mark on my little memory. I didn’t take much back from that year of schooling however. I was too busy not worrying about everyone else and I wasn’t in an environment of locking myself away from the drama, since there wasn’t any!

Tenth through Twelfth, Mr. Kakora was a VERY AWESOME teacher! He was so quirky and funny! He made me feel special, even though he made everyone feel special. Mrs. Adams, a different Mrs. Adams than my Third and Fourth grade teacher, taught Social Studies one year and would bring in props to help her teach her class and you had to be prepared to actively participate in her class! She was VERY KEWL. Mrs. Dow was my business law teacher, typing, and technical teacher. She really pushed me and helped me along the way. Her partner, Mrs. Hansel, however, didn’t care for me at all! My guidance counselor told me to drop her class because she was determined to flunk me! I refused!

Well, I think that’s about enough for today!

To teach is to learn

I have always enjoyed object lessons. There is something about creating a visual image of something that helps me to internalize the concept being taught.

There have been several times in my life that I have served as a teacher. A time in my life that I remember fondly is the five years that I worked as a public school teacher. During those years, I was actively involved in teaching and in learning. This image gave me an opportunity to reflect on that process.

In order for teaching to take place, it's partner activity must also be present. If there is no learning, then the effort to teach is in vain. This pair of activities must occur together for either to be fruitful.

Preparing for lessons, whether it was for school or church, was rewarding. Before I could teach a principle, I had to understand it or at least I had to lay the foundation for understanding it. I remember once, I was teaching a Sunday School class about the story of David and Goliath. I came away from the preparation for that lesson with a deeper understanding of and appreciation for David's courage as well as for the size and strength of Goliath and all that he can represent.

Sometimes, the roles of student and pupil can be reversed. One of the most rewarding experiences of teaching was watching a student grasp for the first time some principle that they were learning. I remember a time when I was teaching a language skills lesson. I asked the students to write a story in their own words about something that was important to them. I reviewed the objectives of the exercise, one of which was to present the story for display in their very best penmanship. One of my students returned his assignment in the most beautiful penmanship I had ever seen. He was so proud of his work! My problem was that I could not understand it because it was written in Cambodian and I could not read it. I returned his assignment to him in front of his classmates, asking him to return it to me in English. He was crestfallen and never returned the story. I learned that day to accept a child's work and acknowledge their effort. I would still have required the additional task from him, but I would have told him how beautiful his penmanship was and that I recognized his work.

Learning in a classroom is a reflection of the quality of teaching being done. When I was poorly prepared to present a lesson, participation was poor. When I worked hard at being prepared, I was more likely to have class participation. Students were excited about learning when I was excited about teaching.

What do you see?

I was intriqued by this image sent to me by a friend. I saw something in it and went on to the next image without giving it a second thought. I returned to the note and saw something else only because of the caption under the image. What do you see?

To a dear friend

Anger is what I feel today!
My friend is parting; going his way
Because his job is ending before its time.
I cannot separate his misfortune from mine.
Guts are tied in knots with pain
Unable to feel relief that my fate's not the same.
Our paths made us both better men.
Useless anger needs replacing then.
Surrender, and in a grateful way be glad that he's a friend today.

Successful times were his and mine
Until the end of our productive time.
Only change is constant. In my life I'll always be
Unable to avoid things that cause pain, you see.
Give me help, Oh Lord I pray.
I need thy strength and comfort today
Because I cannot will my unkind world away.
My heart is full and on my knees,
Anger's replaced with sweetest peace.

Kent Vance

The Jap Camp

Many years ago, when I worked at the Broadmoor Golf course, there was a large concrete pit that was referred to as the "Jap Camp". I was told that there was at one time a Japanese-America Interment camp in that pit. I asked others about the camp and was told that the camp held Japanese Americans during World War II. They worked on the Gold Camp Road and other construction projects around the Colorado Springs vicinity.

It's hard to believe that American Citizens were gathered up and put into these camps merely because of their country of origin.

I tried to find information on this camp on the Web and have found no references to it. I did find a reference to the Broadmoor hotel hiring workers from the interment camp from southeastern Colorado.

I found a reference to POW camp at Camp Carson, which is now Fort Carson and is just South of Colorado Springs. You will have to search on the page for "Japanese".

It's cold in Colorado!!

Relatively speaking, it's not bad outside, but without heat, it cold inside.

This morning, Betty got a call from a friend and member of our ward that was without heat. She was beside herself and didn't know what to do. Betty stopped what she was was doing and was off to help. Betty was wrapped up in a thick winter coat and a scarf when she left.

They finally got the furnace going for her friend, and Betty was looking forward to a nice warm bath. When she got home from taking care her friend home, Betty found that we had no heat. We've called a repairman and they will be here in the morning. Meanwhile we're piling blankets on and will be cuddling a littler closer tonight.

One Line Quotes

I decided to gather a list of one line quotes. I am giving credit for them to the person I heard them from. That may or may not be the person who coined the phrase.

1. I was in a meeting tonight, and someone said, "I say the most when I Listen". I hope that is something that I can do better than I do right now.
2. Can't is such a strong word, - Larry
3. Never underestimate your influence. - Larry
4. A penny saved is a penny earned. - Betty (from Betty's Mom, Grace)
5. Even a mosquito doesn't get a pat on his back until he's well into his work. - Danette
6. Living the gospel is like shaving; it has to be done every day. - Danette
7. Two wrongs don't make a right. Don and Arlo Vance. Thanks, Gloria
8. Anything worth doing is worth doing right. - Gatha Wilson
9. No good deed goes unpunished. - Larry Vance
10. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in. - Mary Lyne Parker
11. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - Betty Vance

The Window of the Soul

When Betty and I were recently at Andrea's house, Matthew was showing us his fancy new camera that he just got for Christmas. Just for fun, he put his camera in front of my nose and clicked a picture of my eye. It was startling to see my eye separate from the rest of my face, and some interesting conversations followed about how the eye is the window of the soul.

Before long, Matthew had put the camera in front of each of our faces and had taken a picture or two. Most of Andrea's family has brown eyes. Matthew commented on how there was so much red in Luke's eye compared to his. Betty, Ashleigh and I have blue eyes. The group that day was half blue eyed, and half brown eyed.

When I was a missionary in Mexico, my blue eyes were often the topic of conversation because blue eyes were rare. I once had a boy watch my face as I talked and finally asked me if I saw the world blue. I could only ask him if he saw everything brown. I can't help if there is a difference.

Betty said that the eye tells us about the body. Iridology, the study of the eye to tell us about diseases of the body that are manifested through the markings of the eye. A couple of years ago, we were at the home of my Missionary companion, George Fillmore, who read the iris of Betty's eye and had told her pretty accurately about the health of her body.

We hear references to the eyes in our day to day speech. When someone is happy, we refer to the light in their eye. When someone is alert and attentive, they are bright eyed. When someone is not quick to understand, we might refer to their eyes being clouded. To trick someone is to pull the wool over their eyes. When we go into a business deal, we emphasize the importance of having the eyes wide open.

It is my contention that is important what we put in front of our eyes. We can enjoy the beauty of a flower or a sunset or a painting and we are nourished. We can also cause harm to our souls by putting things in front of our eyes that are not wholesome. Entertainment that is not wholesome is harmful to our souls. It is important that we choose carefully the things that we use our eyes for.

We've been Jamming

Grandma and Papa have joined a band with their grand kids. Actually the Dixons got a video game, World tour. They got it for Christmas and have really been enjoying it. Papa learned in a hurry that whatever musical talent he may have had fell out with his hair and with his teeth.

After one song, Papa turned his guitar over to Grandma who was grooving and could pluck 'em with the best of them. Here, Luke's playing base and Grandma is playing lead guitar. Popo said he had called, but Grandma said that she didn't answer because she was busy jamming.

Even Ashleigh got in on the action with her Mom and her brothers. Andi was every bit as good as Ringo Star. Actually, Andi probably doesn't even know who Ringo Star is. (He was the drummer for the Beatles.)

I was amazed at the music that they were producing and the fun that they were having as a family.

After the video jamming session, Luke brought out his beautiful new acoustic new guitar. Luke's taking guitar lessons each week. I realize that he's just starting to learn, but it's always fun to hear your kids play beautiful music, even when they are just learning..

After giving us a personal one man concert, Luke even gave Matthew a chance to play his new guitar.

Music has a way of healing the soul whether it is being done for fun, or if it is being done to acquire a new skill.

Robert and Hannah

This weekend, Betty and I loaded up our little red car and headed north to see Robert, Hannah, and their dog, Ollie. Rob is still working stone and his home shows evidence of the stone he has worked on over the years. Rob has found many creative ways to shape and polish stone to make his home more comfortable for him and his daughter, Hannah.


Grandma has been anxious to see Hannah and to talk with her about school and all the things that are important to girls her age. Hannah likes to tie ropes that she uses to play tug of war with her pet boxer, Ollie. He's strong and can win every time, but is smart enough to know that a little girl needs to win every now and then. She read a book to Grandma, and then she said, "Dr. Seuss really doesn't make any sense."

Rob and Grandpa got a kick out of playing with the dogs and the flashlight. Brewster chased the flashlight around the floor, but Ollie watched the ceiling when Rob pointed up. He then ran around in circles as the spot on the ceiling went round and round. Grandma nearly died laughing. We understand that once he gets started, he has a hard time calming down and finding something else to do.

Hanna is sporting a new pair of glasses that make it easier to read. They also make it easier to thread beads. Here, she's making a necklace. She's not used to the new glasses yet. She put them on when her daddy reminded her, but in a manner of minutes, they were were carefully folded and back in the case.

Hanna's hair is shorter than the last time we saw her, but Rob says that it's nice that she can take care of her own hair.

The time we had with Rob and Hanna went by all to quickly. We are looking forward to the next time we have a chance to get together.