What is courage?

I found myself asking myself about courage after viewing part of a movie called 'The Blue and the Grey.' There are several scenes in the movie depicting courageous behavior and cowardly behavior. I was particularly moved by a scene in which a young man was branded for cowardice, and I was moved by a scene in which a young correspondent has a heart to heart talk with his cousin about being courageous.

As I lay in bed after viewing the film and contemplating my own reactions in life, I remembered some times that I was full of fear. Some of the times I was brave, other times, I fell short.

I went to a party when I was a boy at a farm near home. Part of the activities of the party was in an old abandoned home. A haunted house had been set up for our entertainment. As we lined up to go into the house, my fear got the best of me. I took a detour around the building in the night in the hopes that I could avoid facing my fears.

I remembering being a 19 year old missionary in Mexico. The culture seemed so different than I expected. I had spent some months in Provo, UT studying Spanish. I thought I had done quite well, but when I got to Monterrey, Mexico, everyone spoke so rapidly that I hardly caught a word now and then. I was put on a bus all by myself in a country far from home. I was afraid and uneasy, not knowing what to do and how to behave.

When I was in boot camp, I was asked by someone who made it very clear that he didn't like Mormons what my religion was. I had been on a mission and had spent two years teaching about my beliefs, but in this situation, I was tempted to hide my faith to please the members of my platoon. I spoke up. I don't remember what was said after that, but I remember to this day how I felt about myself and my beliefs.

I shall never forget my own first night in Vietnam. I could see the lights marking the runway, and then I saw the red trails of tracer rounds going directly over the runway in the path of our flight and I was terrified. We were hurried into our sleeping quarters. I had a sleepless night wondering what the fighting would be like.

I recently read that acting fearlessly does not refer to the absence of fear. Rather it requires that we take action in spite of the fear we feel. There have been times in my life that I have acted in spite of my fear. Sometimes, it has been to speak up when I was tempted to remain silent. Sometimes, it has been to make a needed change in my life in spite of the consequences that I feared. I have not regretted taking those actions.