Thanksgiving

Ashleigh watches TV

This year, Thanksgiving was in Colorado Springs for part of our family and in South Dakota for another part of the family.  Andrea, Matthew, Luke, and Ashleigh came to our house for a meal, and we were joined by Grandpa Wagner.


Betty was in South Dakota with Tim, Brenda, Aubrey and Chloe.  Grandma wants to spend as much time as possible with Aubrey and to help Brenda. 

Robert is in Longmont, we think.  Wherever he is, we love him and wish him the best.

Matthew plays with his machine

Grandpa Wagner misses Betty

Andrea is sleepy, but musters up a smile

Grandpa is glad to have part
of the family here with him

Matthew forces a smile as
Grandpa tries out his new camera.

Luke sleeps through it all.

Betty, I'll never take you for granted again

This has been a good week and a hard week.  I have been reminded many ways that Betty makes my life a better, more pleasant exercise.

Last Saturday, I bought groceries with the intention of cooking all of my meals.  I cooked one meal or two. They weren't anything to write home about.  One night, I cooked a pizza on Betty's fancy pizza stone.  I put all of the right ingredients on it and it came out like the sole of a shoe that had taken a trip through a garbage dump.  I ate it just because I cooked it and I didn't want to throw the groceries away.  One night, I cooked migas, a Mexican dish with tortilla crumbs and diced vegetables.  I've made this dish before, but when Betty is home, it tastes wonderful.  This time, it was no more than ok.  I ate it because I was hungry, but it would have tasted better if I could have shared it with her.

Sunday, I got up and went to church.  The talks were good and the fellowship was terrific, but I missed the companionship that I get when Betty is with me.  I got my scripture study done, but she wasn't here to help me see  her point of view of the lessons taught in my reading.

I have tried hard to keep the dishes washed, my bed made, my clothes picked up, the trash taken out, the refrigerator stocked, and my laundry done.  The kitchen for is swept, but it isn't clean.  The dishes are washed, but they aren't put away.  The bed is made but not without wrinkle.  A couple of times, I've walked through the kitchen and noticed a foul odor.  After a diligent search, I found a liquid onion and a rotten potato.  Our home is so much more when Betty is here, not just because she does all of these things, but because when she is here the house has the wonderful aroma of her essential oils.

My office is in our family room, which is just off of the kitchen.  At times, I have complained about the noise of the washer, the dryer or the kitchen appliances when I was trying to concentrate on a work task or the conversation on the phone.  This week, the quiet has been deafening.  I find it harder to concentrate with the quiet than with the trivial noises of working at home.

More than anything else, I have missed my conversation partner.  I missed having someone to bounce an idea off of.  I've missed having someone to listen to me when I vent and express frustration.  I have ached to have someone share my little victories when I have worked through a difficult problem or have found a creative approach to an old task.

I have thoroughly enjoyed our phone conversations each morning and each evening before I retire.  I get the latest news about Aubrey and Chloe and Brenda and Tim.  We talk about our challenges and how we've done.  We share ideas and encouragement.    As much as I enjoy them, it's not the same as watching her eyes twinkle or the corner of her mouth turn up as something pleases her.  

Betty and I agree that she is where she needs to be.   Meanwhile, I am learning to cook, clean and do laundry, but more than anything, I am learning to love my sweetheart more each day.

I Took it in the Chin

Yesterday was an emotional day. Betty is out of town helping care Aubrey. Today was not a good day for her and her tumor is interfering with her breathing. The walls were coming at me because I am working from home and don't have a lot of face to face contact as I would prefer. I called Betty's dad and he suggested that I leave the computer for a while and take a walk outdoors.

I laced up my walking shoes, activated my iPod pedometer and headed out for a twenty minute walk in the neighborhood. It was beginning to get a bit damp and cold and I was walking at a pretty good clip. I got to an area where the sidewalks were a uneven. I caught my toe on a lifted section of sidewalk, and down I came into a four point landing. I saw stars as my face hit and my chin and wire framed trifocals took the brunt of the fall. I got up, straightened the frames of my glasses, dusted myself off and looked around hoping nobody say me take a nose dive into the concrete. I was a little unsteady on my feet, but I finished my walk.

After washing my wounds with peroxide and applying ointment and bandages, I went on to finish the day. Although I was a bit sore and a bit wiser about when and where I walk, I felt good that I had stuck to my committment to exercise every day this week. I don't know how it will affect the scale, but I do know that I feel better about working toward a goal consistently.

Eavesdropping can pay off

When I had just returned from my mission in Mexico, I was really proud of my mastery of the Spanish language. I used my new language skills every opportunity I had. There was one situation, though that I kept my language skills very quiet. I was attending Adam State college and taking some basic classes. One that I enjoyed was Art for the Elementary School. The class was taught by a Professor Hatfield. I sat in front of two hispanic students from Espanola, New Mexico. During that class, my knowledge of Spanish proved very beneficial.

I learned that Professor Hatfield had a special affection for anything that came from Mexico. He often spoke of the things he saw there that fascinated him. Among the things he mentioned were black velvet paintings and advertising that was painted on the corrugated tin used to close the open air businesses in the city marketplaces and the bright colored houses that were built in tiers along the winding cobblestone streets of hills of the suburbs.

I tried to weave these themes into the projects I prepared for this class. The two young ladies from Espanola were very adept at criticizing every project in Spanish picking them apart mercilessly, thinking that this fair skinned gringo in front of them could not understand. Oh, I was tempted to set them straight. Their criticism, however, was helpful and I refrained.

Finally at the end of the quarter, I did something that they really liked and they generously gave each other their approval. I could contain myself no longer. I leaned forward and in my very best Spanish, I thanked them for the compliment.

Any comments about SKYPE?

My sweetheart and I are separated for a while while she stays with our Granddaughter, Aubrey during her illness. It has been lonely here today and we have been looking for a way to stay connected with my Girls. It was suggested that we use SKYPE to video conference while we are apart. I've downloaded the software. Does anyone have any tips for me?

I spent the day with Noah and Ellie

Betty stayed at Brenda's and Tims as I came home to take care of things at home. I dreaded the long drive home alone. I thought that the day would go better if I listened to an audio book as I drove. My choice was The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks. It was a delightful experience.

The book touched notes in my heart today more effectively than any book I've ever heard. As Noah described his love for his sweet Ellie it helped me consider my own relationship with my wife. As he described his conversation with his children, it strengthened my feelings for my family. The language and imagery was delightfully creative. A trip that took a whole day seemed to go quickly. It was a day very well spent.

Aubrey makes the news

What is courage?

I found myself asking myself about courage after viewing part of a movie called 'The Blue and the Grey.' There are several scenes in the movie depicting courageous behavior and cowardly behavior. I was particularly moved by a scene in which a young man was branded for cowardice, and I was moved by a scene in which a young correspondent has a heart to heart talk with his cousin about being courageous.

As I lay in bed after viewing the film and contemplating my own reactions in life, I remembered some times that I was full of fear. Some of the times I was brave, other times, I fell short.

I went to a party when I was a boy at a farm near home. Part of the activities of the party was in an old abandoned home. A haunted house had been set up for our entertainment. As we lined up to go into the house, my fear got the best of me. I took a detour around the building in the night in the hopes that I could avoid facing my fears.

I remembering being a 19 year old missionary in Mexico. The culture seemed so different than I expected. I had spent some months in Provo, UT studying Spanish. I thought I had done quite well, but when I got to Monterrey, Mexico, everyone spoke so rapidly that I hardly caught a word now and then. I was put on a bus all by myself in a country far from home. I was afraid and uneasy, not knowing what to do and how to behave.

When I was in boot camp, I was asked by someone who made it very clear that he didn't like Mormons what my religion was. I had been on a mission and had spent two years teaching about my beliefs, but in this situation, I was tempted to hide my faith to please the members of my platoon. I spoke up. I don't remember what was said after that, but I remember to this day how I felt about myself and my beliefs.

I shall never forget my own first night in Vietnam. I could see the lights marking the runway, and then I saw the red trails of tracer rounds going directly over the runway in the path of our flight and I was terrified. We were hurried into our sleeping quarters. I had a sleepless night wondering what the fighting would be like.

I recently read that acting fearlessly does not refer to the absence of fear. Rather it requires that we take action in spite of the fear we feel. There have been times in my life that I have acted in spite of my fear. Sometimes, it has been to speak up when I was tempted to remain silent. Sometimes, it has been to make a needed change in my life in spite of the consequences that I feared. I have not regretted taking those actions.

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month.

I am a cancer survivor.  It was a frightening experience, but one common for many adults.  My life now is proceeding and I am back in the routine of my daily life.  That has not been the case for my teenage granddaughter, Aubrey, who is battling a malignant brain tumor.   

Aubrey is a freshman in high school this year and enjoying each day to the fullest.  Brenda's, entries on a web site called CaringBridge have helped me understand her family's stuggle.  Our numerous trips this year to Children's Hospital in Denver have been heart wenching, and her victories have been wonderful.

Cancer in children is more common that most people realize. Childhood cancers behave very differently than adult cancers and the survival statistics are not as promising. Furthermore, the incidence of childhood cancer seems to be increasing. Please join us in increasing awareness of childhood cancer facts and statistics.

Here are some of the facts and statistics:

• Cancer is the #1 killer of children by disease. It is the second leading cause of all childhood deaths exceeded only by accidents.
• On average, 46 children are diagnosed with cancer every day in the United States.
• One in 330 children will develop cancer before the age of 20.
• Each year, about 3,000 children die from cancer - more than from asthma, diabetes, cystic fibrosis, congenital anomalies, and pediatric AIDS combined.
• Only about 20% of adults with cancer show evidence that the disease has spread to distant sites on the body at diagnosis yet 80% of children are diagnosed with advanced disease.
• The incidence of childhood cancer is increasing. The cause of this is unknown.
• Most adult cancers result from lifestyle factors such as smoking, diet, occupation, and exposure to cancer-causing agents. The cause of most childhood cancers in unknown.
• Pediatric funding is nominal in comparison to other more publicized diseases such as pediatric AIDS or juvenile diabetes which increases awareness each year.
• Approximately 70% of children with cancer participate in research trials compared to only 3% of adult cancer patients. As a result, many of the advances in adult cancer treatments are due to breakthroughs in childhood cancer research.
• The symbol for childhood cancer is the gold ribbon.
• Childhood cancers are mostly those of the white blood cells (leukemia's), brain, bone, the lymphatic system and tumors of the muscles, kidneys and nervous system. Each of these behaves differently. Cancers in very young children are highly aggressive and behave unlike malignant disease seen at other times of life. The median age for childhood cancer is six. Children frequently have a more advanced stage of cancer when they are first diagnosed. 80% of children show that cancer has spread to distant sites in the body when the disease is first diagnosed.
• Although it is unlikely that your child will develop cancer, as a parent, you need to be aware of the symptoms of childhood cancer. Observe your child for any sudden, persistent changes in health or behavior as listed on the Signs of Childhood Cancer (below.) Since most of the symptoms of cancer can also be attributed to benign conditions, the diagnosis of cancer can be a long process. You must trust your own instinct and work as a team with your doctor, using your knowledge of your child and your doctor's knowledge of medicine to protect your child's health.

Signs of Childhood Cancer:

• Continued, unexplained weight loss
• Headaches, often with vomiting, at night or early morning
• Increased swelling or persistent pain in bones, joints, back, or legs
• Lump or mass, especially in the abdomen, neck, chest, pelvis, or armpits
• Development of excessive bruising, bleeding, or rash
   
• Constant infection
• A whitish color behind the pupil
• Nausea which persists or vomiting without nausea
• Constant tiredness or noticeable paleness
• Eye or vision changes which occur suddenly and persist
• Recurrent fevers of unknown origin

This information was taken from the following websites:

• Candellighters of Michigan
• Gold Ribbons for Childhood Cancer

My Favorite Whole Wheat recipe

Julie, these recipes are for you and anyone else who wants to try them. I went to a church wheat class and these recipes were there to take home plus they made these and cooked them and we got to taste them and they were wonderful.

WHOLE WHEAT BLENDER PANCAKES

Mix in blender 3-4 minutes
1 cup milk
1 cup hard wheat

Add:
1/2 tsp salt
4TBS sugar
2 eggs
3 tsp baking powder
1/4 c oil or margarine
Blend a few more minutes till it becomes pancake batter and take about
1/4 or 1/8 c of batter and pour on hot griddle. Pancakes are thin-almost crepe-like.

You'll love these and once you have cooked them a few times they are quick and very easy and OH so very tasty. It became one of our favorite recipes.

More Father's day thoughts

Church today has really made me think. We listened to three talks today about Fathers and Father's Day. I was touched by all three talks, but especially the talks by Brothers Harvey. They both talked about the four pillars of fatherhood: providing, teaching, leading, and loving.

I have thought about my on experiences as a father. I know that I failed my children in some ways. I can't go back and change my past or make up for the things I missed. I can, however, live each day doing my best as a father and as a grandfather to make these four pillars part of my life.

We have three living children and one who is longer with us. I have a very special place in my heart for each of them. I love each of them in a unique way and would feel a tremendous loss if any one of them were no longer part of my daily life.

I watch with awe as the girls face the challenges of their lives.

This has been a tough year for you, Brenda. My heart aches for you. I hope that I can lighten your burden somehow or share it with you and Tim. I marvel at your faith and at your courage.

Andrea, I know that raising three children as a single mom is not an easy thing to do. It was so rewarding to share one of Matthew's milestones as he graduated from high school. The years have gone so quickly! It has been so fun to watch your little boys, Matthew and Luke, become young men, and it is fun to watch you interact with them. I learn from you as I watch you with Ashleigh. Your love for her is an example to me. Thank you so much for your Fathers' day gift Saturday. I think the most precious gift you can give is your time. I will try to remember that.

Rob, I was so happy to see you at Andi's house. It took a burden from my heart to know where you are and how you are doing. I love you.

Eddie, We haven't forgotten you. Our love for you is as strong as the days we came to your home to visit with you.

Having the four of you in my life is one of the greatest joys I have ever experienced. I know that you feel the same about your children.

Accountability

 I joined Weight Watchers to improve my health.  I have been making a half hearted attempt at following the program and have been getting just the results I deserve to get.   Last week, I lost, but this week, I gained two and a half pounds. I lose weight and then gain it back again and I'm not doing myself much good.

I started an exercise program to improve my health.  Having  an obsessive compulsive personality has been no help.  I started a spreadsheet where I could track my progress.  For a while, I was really good at doing the exercises and tracking it.  I was feeling better.  I was proud of my progress and then gradually, I quit tracking.  Without the tracking, it was easy to quit the exercise.  There is nothing that helps me understand better what I am doing or what I am not doing like tracking it.  An nothing helps me more to keep tracking than to share what I am doing.

According to my pedometer today, I have walked a total of 1,871 steps.  That's a total of 1.12 miles.  That's not very  much activity.  I did do 18 minutes of exercise.  When I do my full  exercise program as prescribed by my physical therapist.  it's almost an hour.  To be healthy, I need to be walking more and I need to do more exercise.  I don't have to be perfect, but I need to set some realistic goals and I need to work towards them better than I have.

William Thomas Beals

Mom forwarded an email to me today about my Great Grandfather, William Thomas Beals.  I never knew him personally, but I was interested in him because there was always a cloud of mystery around the mention of his name.

William Thomas Beals was born on May 31, 1873 in Rodgersville, Hawkins, Tennessee.   He was the fourth child of John Simpson Beals' and Frances Elizabeth Frances Dyer's eleven children.  

In September of 1893, he married Josie Caroline Hicks.  Josie was from Elk Park, North Carolina, but they were married in LaJara, Colorado.  Their first child, Rosie Verdeame, was born 9 Aug 1894 in Fox Creek, Colorado.  Their second child, Arthur was born in Fox Creek, Colorado on 5 October of 1896. Arthur died at the age of 17 months of age.   This union ended in divorce.

Those members of his immediate family that had come to Colorado when he did moved on to Pima, Arizona.

William married Abbie Ellen Patterson 1 March 1898 in LaJara, Colorado.  They had two boys.  Joseph Arthur was born 16 December 1899 in Conejos, Colorado and James William born 7 Aug 1901 in Mogote, Conejos, Colorado. About two years after William married Abbie, he went to gather wood and never returned. 

He married Eddie Jane Viars on 24 Jan 1902. In Tennessee, they  had four children, Rosie Virdie 28 Oct 1902 born in Sullivan, Tennessee, Theodore born 8 April 1904 in Paintrock, Tennessee, William Thomas born 24 Jan 1906, and Mary Elizabeth born 1 January 1909.  I also find a marriage recorded for this couple  31 May 1913.

William eventually returned to Colorado.  I have a book that he dedicated to his first biological daughter when she was 35.

I want to understand this man better. Why did he have such a hard time staying in a marriage?  Why did he name  new children after children from previous marriages.  Why did his last wife die in Tennessee when he returned to Colorado at the end of his life.

I've taken a challenge

Betty and I are trying to get healthier.  After I have spent years sitting in front of a computer monitor earning a living, I am beginning to suffer the consequences of inactivity.  If I don't want to be disabled in time, I need to do something.

We attended a Weight Watchers meeting last night and the topic was motivation.  In November last year, I began a virtual trek across the country as my ancestors did when they came to the west in search of religious freedom.  I am wearing a pedometer and am tracking the distance I walk each day.  Over time, however, I have let my motivation wane and have done less and less.  I began in Palmyra, NY and have logged enough steps to get me to Columbus, OH.

I was introduced to a Web site, MapMyWalk.com.  I am mapping my trek so that I can see my progress and hopefully, so I can stay motivated.  I have taken their first challenge to walk a marathon in 30 days.  I know it doesn't sound like much, but it's a beginning.  I'll be mapping my progress and sharing it to keep me accountable.  As I walk and get in better shape, I'll share my progress.  Hopefully, I will be able to walk back into better health.

The week after Christmas

Tis the week after Christmas and all through the pond
Every creature is smiling with memories so fond;
Challenges had come so quickly this year
Affecting the froggies that we all hold so dear.

Some tadpoles are nestled all snug in their beds,
While memories of the old year dance in their heads;
And Grandma on her lilly pad, and Papa on the banks,
Have hearts full of gratitude and feeling of thanks.

Although events  this year often left us sadder,
They have an inkling of things that really do matter.

Away to the North they swam in a flash
With hopes of a vacation & a Christmas Bash.
The blizzard came too and new-fallen snow
It Froze ponds, rivers,  and roadways below.

When what to their wondering eyes should appear
But a miniature snowplow, and shovelers dear.
With a little old frogger efficient and quick,
They knew in a  moment the roads would be slick.

More rapid than weasels departure time came,
And they splashed and shouted and called out by name,
Bye Andi, Bye Matthew Bye Luke and Bye Ashleigh.
Bye Timmy, Bye Brenda, Bye Aubrey, and Chloe

Now tadpoles, just see Grandma's a fixin'
To swim away home, her flippers are flexin'.
To the top of the pond, if the kicking don't stall
Now home again, home again, home again, all!

Gramdma  and Papa packed up buzzing as flies
That met with no obstacles while traveling on ice.
So up to the tie strings the presents they packed
With their bags full of luggage they headed on back.

And then with threshing, they heard out on the road,
The hopping and splashing of each little toad.
As they forged ahead without turning around
Down the roadway the littlest tadpole came with a bound.

She was dressed in green from her head to her tail
The distance was was covered.  She jumped with a yell
Into the bundle of presents flung onto their backs
But they just kept swimming, they had to make tracks.
 

The tadpole's eyes  how they twinkled, Her warts were just merry!
Her cheeks were like roses, she was so light to carry!
Papa's old jaw, he dropped with alarm
Stoking his beard with his tired old arm.

Opportunity is ripe suggested old Grandma frog
As she thought,  it circled her head as the tail of a dog.
She had a greenish grin and a little round belly
That shook as the thought like a bowlful of jelly.

Papa just chuckled, a right jolly old toad
And he laughed as he listened to Grandma so bold.
A wink of his eye and a nod of his head
Let Grandma know they had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but scribbled a short little note
Then showed it to Grandma and turned with a gloat;
And laying the letter inside the mail slot
And giving a rivit down the road they both hopped.

Papa slung on his bag, to his wife gave a whistle
And away they all swam like a firing missle
But you'll hear him exclaim, ere they swims out of site
Merry Christmas to all, we're richer tonight!